My Fertility Journey | Part One

It was Thursday evening and Brett and I were scheduled to leave for Napa the next morning to celebrate 2 years of dating. It was early April and Brett's parents spend the winter in Utah to ski always returning back to San Diego mid month. Brett had asked me to help him prep something at their house before they returned the following week. He was acting a little off, I vividly remember thinking he was up to something by his nervous demeanor that afternoon but didn't think much into it. We were in the backyard of their house when out of nowhere an airplane flew over trailing a banner that read "Will you marry me?"  I was in shock, everything I had ever wanted for us was happening! My future husband was standing right in front of me and I was over the moon excited to start this new chapter with him.

Our Engagement 4/12/11

We had a picturesque ceremony next to the Pacific Ocean in Kauai, October 2011. We always laugh out loud when we tell the story about our wedding mainly because it was one of the best times we've ever had. Having your family and all of your closest friends vacationing together in one of the most beautiful places on earth was quite the experience. The funny part is that we chose to get married at "the rainiest place on earth"....with no rain backup plan. In true Kauai nature, it rained all afternoon on our wedding day, cleared up for ceremony and reception and even surprised us with a giant rainbow over Hanalei Bay. Just as the reception was coming to an end the torrential downpour started up. Call it a coincidence or just good luck, it didn't matter because nothing would have spoiled that day. We were so in love and we were now a married couple. ♥

Our Wedding Day 10/10/11

We decided to do as much traveling our first year of marriage before we thought about starting a family. Right around our 1 year wedding anniversary we traveled around Europe for a month, visiting 5 countries. We went to Amsterdam, spent two weeks in Italy, traveled through Croatia, Serbia and Paris. It was an amazing experience to have together and we were eager to return home to start on the next chapter. We did as any other couple would do and "practiced" with no expectations but after a few months of no luck, I purchased ovulation strips and then a fertility monitor to start tracking my cycle. Getting pregnant wasn't as easy as we thought it was going to be... and little did we know this was just the beginning of our infertility struggle.

Paris, France

The Colosseum in Rome, Italy

The Beginning

After 6 months of trying with still no luck, we started being seen by the fertility specialist at my OBGYN office. The doctor assured us that since we were both still young our chances of getting it figured out were good. The first steps were a number of screenings, blood tests, sperm analysis' and ultrasounds that we both underwent. The most concerning results from the findings were that Brett's sperm count was a little low but they assured us that it only takes one sperm to get a women pregnant. The findings wouldn't prevent us from conceiving we nearly looked at it like a speed bump in our journey. This qualified us for IntraUterine Insemination (IUI) which is a fertility treatment that involves placing sperm inside a woman's uterus to facilitate fertilization (the turkey baster method). It wasn't sexy... but it was a solution. To increase my chances of a successful IUI procedure, I was instructed to start fertility medications and self-injections so that doctors could manipulate my ovulation cycle. The infertility process was a bit overwhelming at first and the thought of giving myself shots sounded so scary and intimidating however, I was determined to do anything to have a child.My first IUI was that June (9 months after we started "trying") and like any eager women undergoing fertility treatments, I starting taking home pregnancy tests ASAP to see if it worked. A week or so after my IUI treatment I started seeing my first ever positive results, seeing that plus sign on the stick was one of the best feelings I had ever had. It worked and I couldn't wait to surprise Brett with the news! I had wrapped the positive pregnancy test inside a baby onesie for him to open when he got home from work that evening. Celebrating together was such a fun, special moment for us but unfortunately just as fast as it happened, it was gone. I was having a chemical pregnancy. It was like it had never happened and I was left feeling so stupid and so empty.Soon there after, Brett underwent a surgery to help elevate his sperm count in hopes of increasing our chances of having a baby even more. Later that same month I did another IUI procedure and with no success again, we decided to take a few months off to heal physically and emotionally.

IVF

After two failed IUI attempts and over a year struggling with infertility, it was suggested to take the next step and meet with an outside fertility specialist to see what our other options were. After careful consideration, it was determined that In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) would give us the best chance at a successful pregnancy.In February 2014, almost a year and a half after we started "trying" to have a family,  I underwent an IVF egg retrieval and the procedure was much more than I had bargained for. For IVF newbies, an egg retrieval is what a women's ovaries (follicles) are stimulated with the help of fertility drugs in order to produce as many mature eggs as possible upon retrieval. Once collected, the eggs are fertilized with the sperm in a lab and monitored for progress the next 5 days.Post surgery I was in a lot of pain. The doctor had collected 28 eggs upon retrieval and after the fertilization process, we were left with 11 high quality embryos. What I wasn't aware of post retrieval was those 28 stimulated follicles in my ovaries had filled with fluid which was causing me an extreme amount of bloating and abdominal discomfort. This was very concerning since I was scheduled for my first IVF transfer later that week and needed to be in good health for the procedure.  Aside from the egg retrieval (the big show),  transfers are the next biggest deal in the IVF process. The transfer is when the fertilized embryo(s) are placed inside a women's uterus in hopes of becoming pregnant. Leading up to a transfer, there is typically a month of preparation and medications to prepare a women's body for the procedure. And, if everything is done correctly, a women has a 40% chance of getting pregnant if they are transferring one embryo and 80% chance if they are transferring two embryos.  Due to my extreme bloating, I decided to visit a fertility acupuncturist twice before my first transfer, I had also heard that acupuncture could possibly help my chances for IVF success. That same Sunday we transferred two fresh embryos from my recent egg retrieval and soon after, things were looking really good. Early pregnancy tests were starting to show positive signs when it happened, again. I had another chemical pregnancy, this time from IVF and we were absolutely crushed.Chemical pregnancies are a very early miscarriage that usually happen the 5th week you are pregnant. They are fairly common, in fact, most of the time women don't even know they were pregnant by the time they start their "late" period. But let me be clear that while they are common, having more than one is not. Were were beginning to become very concerned, I had undergone three fertility procedures and two had ended in a chemical pregnancies. The fertility clinic sent me to UCSD to undergo an extensive blood work evaluation and in all honesty, I was hoping that the test would show us something that was contributing to the repeated pregnancy losses.

Pre Egg Retrieval

Post Egg Retrieval

First Transfer

Figuring it out

From the blood test it was determined that I (unknowingly) had a blood clotting disorder called Factor 5 and I was also Protein C Deficient. Although I had never had a blood clot (and most people don't) my fertility doctor thought this could be contributing to the repeated early miscarriages.I was scheduled to have another IVF transfer using two of our frozen emybros in May 2014. The difference with this transfer is that I would be administering daily Lovenox injections to prevent blood clots post transfer. These injections were more difficult and had larger needles than the ovulation stimulating injections I had used before. They had to be given in my stomach and sometimes the injection was painless and sometimes they hurt, bad. I was also under strict instructions to not lift anything over 10 pounds and no rigorous physical activities (working out etc) until my blood test 10 days post transfer.You'd think that I would stop early pregnancy testing given the amount of heartbreak we had suffered at that point... but it was so much easier said than done. We had been trying to have a baby for 2 1/2 years so it's difficult to describe the amount of anticipation that I was experiencing. It was happening to me, it was my emotions, my body and post transfer, every single minute of every single day it's all I could think about. I began getting positive home pregnancy tests around 6 days post transfer and when my 9 day blood test results came back from the lab, my first HCG number was sounding good! Call my crazy, but I still have the voicemail.[audio m4a="http://www.peacelovestyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/voicemail-1544.m4a"][/audio]Brett and I were feeling happy about the first results but unfortunately because of what we had experienced with pregnancy excitement in the past, we couldn't help but stay cautiously optimistic with pregnancy news. We waited another 4 days and I tested again. The HCG number had gone up, a lot and we were beginning to feel like this could be real. Here is the voicemail with that news.[audio m4a="http://www.peacelovestyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/voicemail-1545.m4a"][/audio]The next two weeks were a waiting game. I was still under strict protocol, no lifting over 10 lbs and no working out, so naturally it caused me to become super paranoid about doing the wrong thing or moving the wrong way. I didn't want another pregnancy taken away from me so I was extra cautious. We made it to the 6 week ultrasound which was a huge success in our journey! 6 weeks was the furthest into a pregnancy we had reached and the ultrasound was the first time we were able to see our babies heartbeat on the monitor. This ultrasound made it so real for us,  Brett and I were emotionally invested at this point. Although 6 weeks was huge for us, it was still early so we were very careful about sharing the news with anyone besides our closets family and friends. We continued to be seen by the outside fertility clinic for weekly ultrasounds until week 10 when I was released back to my OB who I hadn't seen since we started the fertility process. For anyone who has been pregnant before, week 10 is very special because that is the first time your doctor will see you about your pregnancy. The IVF process is much different, I was on daily injections, strict physical protocol, we had already had 2 blood tests and 4 ultrasounds at that point – I couldn't help but feel anything but normal. Coming back to my OB office felt like graduation day for me.

Our Pregnancy Announcement

12 Week Ultrasound

Bump Photos

My Baby Shower with my Mom and Mother-in-Law

32 Weeks Pregnant

 Our Baby

Brock was born at 9:47 pm on January 19th 2015, almost 3 1/2 years after we started "trying" to have a family. For once the amount of time it took didn't matter to us, we had a different kind of appreciation for this child that no one could understand but us. My water broke at 1 am almost two weeks before my due date and after 18 hours of labor, I had to go in for an emergency cesarian. He was a blessing, all 9 lbs 6 oz of him with a huge, head full of black hair.The journey to finally meet our son was long, very emotional and physically and mentally painful at times. But through all of the infertility struggles Brett and I came together like we never had before, grew from the experience and became stronger people for it.Brock has been the absolute light of our lives. Every single milestone from the IVF transfer day, to hearing his heartbeat for the first time, the day he was born, his first steps, first words, to his 3rd birthday this past January has been such a special moment for us and we cherish him deeply. I've never been so thankful for something in my entire life. Brett and I continue to share a very special bond because of all that we have been through together. Despite the rollercoaster, I feel so lucky for the journey. I have been blessed with two amazing, very special boys that will be in my life forever. Brett and I were always family despite our infertility struggles but adding Brock to it has definitely brought a different kind of love to our family that is simply unexplainable.

Brocks Birth 1/19/15

First Family Photo

3 months old

5 months old

7 months old

9 months old

1  1/2 years old

2 years old

3 years old

I wanted to share this story with you because my struggle to become a mom has been a huge part of my life the past 6 years and I have kept very private about it. Although it took me some time to feel comfortable enough to talk openly about my experience, I'm sharing my journey now to give other women out there struggling with infertility hope and to let them know that they're not alone.Thank you for listening to part one of my fertility story, but unfortunately things aren't always as easy as they seem the second time around. The story continues, Part Two here.If anyone feels comfortable enough to share their fertility journey with me, I would be honored to hear from you. ♥  You can email me directly at info@peacelovestyle.com.Xo, Shawna