Solving Toddler Sleep Issues

First things first, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I think it is also so important to understand that it is all very normal. I have had so many frustrating moments, I can't even begin to explain. What has helped me get through the hardest days is reminding myself this is not their fault. These years are pivotal, full of growth and development. I had to tell myself that constantly and the best part about it is that it's the truth. It get's better, thank god!

While sleep issues can be out of our control, there are some things we must do as parents, if we want any chance of improvement.

First, you have to establish an excellent bedtime routine.

Ours is dinner at 6pm, small dessert (only if dinner is finished), bath time or shower, reading, bed at 8pm. I also have blackout curtains in both of their rooms, weighted blankets, a sound machine, a nightlight and Stevie has a wake clock. If I'm gone and there is a babysitter, the kids are on the same bedtime routine. Traveling can knock us off the routine sometimes but we do our best.

Last, you must STAY CONSISTENT, no matter how much resistance you get.

We had a problem with Stevie waking up multiple times a night. Her wake clock doesn't turn green until 6am though. Whether she comes into my room at 2am, 4:30am or 5:55am, she's getting walked back to her room and told to wait to come out when her light turns green. THEN she may come downstairs and we usually put her on the iPad until 6:30 so we can get a few more minutes of sleep. Brock is allowed out of his room at 630am. The only way Stevie is going to understand her job in the morning is by repetition. When she finally got it (this morning was her 2nd time) she was rewarded with a big bowl of Lucky Charms (I would typically never buy it).

Toddlers (ages 1-2) need between 12 and 14 hours of sleep per day.

The issue usually starts with FOMO. They don't want to miss out on any of the fun activities they feel might be going on. I also think separation from mom/dad played a big role for us with Stevie too. Resisting bed can quickly turn into waking up during the night and difficulty returning to sleep.

Preschoolers (ages 3-5) need between 11 and 13 hours.

The napping issues begin (at least from our experience) sometime between 3 and 4. However, this part is hard because I question the nap, but they usually benefit from taking the nap still.

What's worked for us is establishing a set routine time for napping or if they don't want to nap, I offer quiet time alone in her bedroom, around the same time a nap would be and for usually around an hour. Even if your child can't sleep, stick with the "quiet time" for them to relax, most of the time Stevie decides to doze off anyway. Night time sleep problems are also expected during these preschool years. We've experienced it all, resisting to going to sleep, waking frequently at night and nighttime fears.

Sharing our recent experience got so many of you talking to me, and I received a lot of amazing feedback on this topic. I'm so excited to share all the suggestions I received with you! Sleep issues have affected everyone in our house, so I understand how desperate and helpless you can feel. Remember you're not alone. And, I can tell you from experience if you make some adjustments and again, stay consistent, IT WILL GET BETTER, I promise.

Suggestions from you

Our sleep consultant said an earlier bedtime will helps, especially with younger children.

An hour before bed, we turn off TV, turn down lights and just listen to music, color and read.

Get her a weighted blanket. It's an instant calming feeling. (many mom’s suggested this)

Magnesium is supposed to be the trick!

I used this wake clock for both of my kids and it worked.

I made some small tweaks last night and it helped a little… just two wake ups and she slept until 6. I added a sound machine in my daughter’s hallway and removed the night light there. I feel like I need to go back to her sleep training basics from when she was a baby! Us moms have to help each other!

Try essential oils.

Sleep begets sleep - keep the nap!!! My daughter is 2 months younger than Stevie and her best nights sleep are when she naps. She naps every day at daycare too.

Both boys (ages 5 & 3.5) go to bed at 730-630/7pm.

Move bedtime up by increments of 30 minutes until you reach 730pm.

Bring your toddler in your bed and sleep the last hour together. 

Consistency. White noise sound machine. Blackout curtains.

Stevie is young but see if you can make a deal. "Mom needs Stevie is stay in bed until 7:00. If Stevie chooses to stay in her bed, what does Stevie need from Mom?"

Consistent schedule, don’t skip naps, early bedtime, no more than 4 hours past waking from nap. Outside time after nap, before bed. 

Yay for the weighted blanket. Honestly, exactly what you just said is what we did with earlier bed time and earlier nap time and it has worked along with the blanket!!! You got this mama!!!

I would try Young Livings KidScents Unwind! Amazing. It’s like a little pixy stick powder and goes under the tongue tastes good. I like unwind because it has no melatonin in it. Same brand but their great sleep oils are - Dream catcher, Gentle baby, Sleepyize, Peace and calming, Cedarwood, Lavender. Make a roller and/or diffuse.

Not sure if it works but I also try to make sure to wake her up so she naps no longer than 1.5hrs, she’s also 3.

iPad so they will let you sleep longer in the morning.

I had a bucket of toys my daughter could only play with when she was having “quiet time” in the morning …The bucket went right up and out of sight once she left her room in the AM.

Giving her that little bit if independence made it appealing enough to stay in her room plus she loved to color. I did have to set some rules on how early she could be up bc I didn’t want her up at 4 am just to see the new toys. You could tell her you aren’t putting the quiet time bucket in her room until a certain time so if she wakes up and doesn’t see it it’s still night time.

I used the Cradle Coach to sleep train her. I’m considering reaching back out to them. They are great. 

Is she waking because she has to pee? Ours was doing this, early wakes at 5:30 because they had to pee and then didn’t want to go back to sleep. (Time change didn’t help) We now wake him up in the middle of the night to pee and that’s seemed to help!

Cutting out the nap, moving bedtime to an earlier time, 6pm is working for us.

Dance party, evening walk to get wiggles out, lavender on feet massage/diffuse.

Try no sugar before bed. My 5 year old niece has sleeping issues, when she stayed with me I cut it out and she slept awesome.

Maybe cereal or oatmeal at night before bed to ensure a full belly.

When you get to the end of your rope, lock her in and sleep with ear plugs!

My son takes 5mg of melatonin, they make it in Epsom salts too, Dr teals brand which is great bc she’ll only absorb what she needs.

Ask you doctor but you could try a higher dose of melatonin.

Zarzabees melatonin. My son had the same problems, black out curtains help too.

Did we leave anything out?! If so, please comment below so I can add to the list and possibly help out another tired mom.

xx, Shawna