Sleep Training: Day & Night Sleeping

Hey moms! Moving along, this final blog post is all about your baby and sleep. Once you have your baby eating every four hours, four times a day AND not eating during the night, you may begin Step 3.  I will tell you first hand that this step may be difficult at times, however, it will be your biggest deal changer during training. Stay consistent and keep your eye on the prize: a baby that sleeps through the night, scheduled feedings and naptimes during the day. 

Step 3: Sleeping During the Night: Baby Sleeps or Has Quiet Time in Crib for Twelve Hours a Night

Establish a Bedtime Routine. 30 minutes before your fourth and final feeding of the day, take your baby up to the nursery. You need to do 5-6 things consistently each night to signal to your baby that it is time to wind down and go to sleep. It's important to be consistent in your nighttime routine.Rituals we do:

• Lower the ceiling light with dimmer or turn on one or two lamps or night lights. Point is, darkening.
• Close shades (we use room-darkening shades
• Soothing music.
• Give the baby a bath. Massage with lotion.
• Nighttime Diaper and footed sleeper and sleep sack. Nighttime Diapers are important because you want to change the baby's diaper only if they have pooped. Changing wet diapers all night will interrupt sleep for both you and the baby. Even if we don't give the baby a bath, we will change her into a fresh footed sleeper. Also changing their clothes in the morning and at night help them distinguish between night and day.
• Shut the nursery door to keep out other light and noise.

Feed Baby. Use Step 2 instructions to ensure your baby is getting enough food before bedtime. Place Baby in the Crib. AWAKE. Ahhhh, the linchpin of Step 3. You have to put the baby in the crib while their still awake. This is because your baby HAS to learn to put themselves to sleep in order to be able to sleep through the night.You do not wan to develop a habit of your baby falling asleep outside the crib and then not be able to fall asleep on their own in the crib.Turn on a soothing musical crib toy. Make sure that it plays soft, soothing music for at least 3-10 minutes. A mobile, soft toy or crib soother works perfect. I do a combo of the Cloud B Turtle  and this Sound Machine.Give baby a safe, age appropriate blankie, lovie or emotional toy that has the mothers scent. Obviously, make sure whatever you give your child is not a SIDS or choking risk. Before giving the toy to your baby for the first time, you should sleep with it for 3-4 days so that it absorbs your scent. When baby wakes up at night, they can then draw this toy close to them and be soothed by your smell without you actually being there.Kiss baby and tell them goodnight. Darken the room, leave the room and close the door behind you. At night you want to crate a quiet sleep oasis for your baby to rest in. Make sure the room is dark enough, some parents like it pitch-black because they find night-lights wake the bay throughout the night. We leave the turtle on which has an automatic shut off 20 minutes after being on. Use a baby monitor to check on and feel secure.How to Tackle Crying: The Limited Crying SolutionI can't tell you how many times I have read and re-read this part. It's always been my most difficult, yet biggest game changer with my babies.The author believes that while there are some things as a parent you can fix, such as a poopy diaper or giving them a warm blanket to sleep with, there are other things you cannot OR, more accurately, should not fix.Crying babies do need some parental soothing. But your role should be to assist, not solve your babies' emotional problems. Soon your baby will need less and less assistance because they will learn how to soothe themselves on their own.... and that is always my ultimate goal.Let the baby cry three to five minutes before going into the room. SO HARD. However, from experience, it's absolutely essential to help your baby learn to sleep through the night.As your baby is crying, the baby is trying to figure it out for themself - they are learning how to self-soothe. Once the baby does figure it out, they will be able to put themself to sleep without parental intervention. This is exactly where we have been stuck the last few nights. Stevie does great for 6-8 hours but once she awakes, she expects us to put her back to sleep, put in the passy, pat her tummy etc. Brett and I will have to go in her room 4-8 times from 2:30 am on hoping she stays asleep. It's exhausting.Then it hit me today, I have reached dreaded Step 3! Remember Shawna, we all wake up through the night, turning around, pulling up the blanket without noticing it. It's imperative that we let Stevie find her own way and NOW is the time.If baby calms down at any point during the waiting period, start clock again. If baby is still crying after five minutes, go into nursery and reassure baby from the side of the crib without picking them up.

• Use the Nighttime Toolbox (from Preparing for Sleep Training)
• Do NOT talk to or make eye contact with your baby. Sound harsh? It is, but it will only engage your baby and make it harder on you and your baby.

It's ok to shush and whisper to baby, just do not speak to baby in a conversational tone. Nighttime sleep is supposed to be boring and quiet.Once baby settles down, step away from the crib, leave the room and close the door behind you. Looking for calmness, make a quick inhaling noise or stops crying all together.... step away from the crib and leave the room. From the moment this happens, you want to leave them alone.Wait another three to five minutes before going in again. Remember! Our role is to step in and take it down a level for your baby, don't fix the problem (which we have been doing, ughhhh) by soothing them back to sleep.You might have to repeat this process several times throughout the night.The author says that the frequency with which you have to go in to help your baby and the duration of each crying episode diminishes over time. She is right because it worked (rather quickly actually) with Brock when he was a baby. 

Step 4: Sleeping During the Day: One-Hour Nap in the Morning and Two-Hour Nap in the Afternoon

Babies up to 18-24 months of age need to sleep every morning and afternoon.For some of their naptime, they might chew on a soft toy, look at a book or just have quiet time, but they need to stay in their cribs for the duration of their naps.Daytime sleep training should begin 2 weeks after your baby is consistently sleeping through the night. Then, you can observe your baby's natural sleep pattern during the day and use this pattern to help set the naptimes. Your baby should take about a one-hour nap in the morning and a two-hour nap in the afternoon, occurring at about the same time each day.Important: Like nighttime sleep, babies should nap in their cribs to further strengthen the association between the nursery and sleep. You should also use a "mii" version of your nighttime routine to signal to your baby that it is time to sleep. That way you will be sending a consistent message that these rituals = sleep.

• Lights off
• Close the curtains
• Play the same musical crib toy, etc.

**Do not repeat every part of your nighttime routine; a second bath or a clothing change is not necessary.**These naps should take place after your babies have eaten AND after they have had playtime or another wake-time activity. Remember; eat, play, sleep.Example of my goal daily schedule with Stevie:7:00-7:15 am - Wake, diaper change, dress her7:15-7:45 am - First Feeding7:45-9:00 am - Activity Time9:00-10:00 am - Morning Nap10:00am-11:15 am - Activity Time (floor time/tummy time)11:15-11:45 am - Second Feeding11:45-12:30 pm - Activity Time, outside if possible (walk in stroller)1:00-3:00 pm - Afternoon Nap3:15-3:45 pm - Third Feeding3:45-5:00 pm - Activity Time5:00-6:00 pm - Evening Nap (this will be dropped ASAP)6:00-7:00 pm - Activity Time7:00-7:15 pm - Nighttime routine before bed (bath time)7:15-7:45 pm - Fourth Feeding7:45pm-7:15am - Stevie sleeps in her cribFirst Nap: Should take place between first and second feedings of the daySecond Nap: Should take place between second and third feeding of the day.Generally to take place two hours after the first and second feeding time, however you should modify this somewhat to fit your baby's natural sleep pattern and family's schedule, just as long as there is some wake-time between the feedings and naps. Goal should be no naptime between the third and fourth feedings. Otherwise your babies will likely have trouble falling and staying asleep for 12 hours at night, especially the older they get.  Stevie is tired between these feedings so she always takes a 40-minute to one-hour nap. I never let her sleep too long or too late. I like to give her 2 hours between each sleep time. This will be the first nap to go.**One thing I learned from Brock, try not to be too quiet during daytime sleep. If you create a noiseless environment outside the nursery you will set yourself up for difficulties moving forward. You want your babies to get used to sleeping through the phone ringing, laundry, dog barking, etc. Remember, the babies need to adapt to the family's lifestyle, not the other way around. As a mom, you know your baby best. You want to be fairly consistent in where and when your babies sleep but you also ned to be somewhat flexible and listen to your babies. Sometimes Stevie takes her morning nap in the carseat when we're out and about. Sometimes she's especially tired so I put her to sleep early. Listen to these signals within reason.CryingIf your baby cries when you put her in her crib for a nap or wakes up crying during naptime, you should use the same methods you did to train your baby to sleep at night. Give them 3-5 minutes, go into the nursery and use the techniques from your toolbox to encourage her to go back to sleep on their own. Stevie has gotten pretty good about fussing for a few minutes and then passing back out. If she doesn't calm down after 3-5 minutes and the toolbox techniques aren't working, that usually tells me she's ready to get up. She has to be sleeping for at least an hour and a half though.**Remember what time your baby wakes so you can keep track of how long she is awake before her next nap.

Exceptions to the Rule

There will be variations in your baby's schedule, both planned and unplanned. Let's discuss how to handle changes in your routine.SicknessUnfortunately, mid-training, Stevie got sick. I still encouraged her to stay within her schedule as much as possible. There were necessary adjustments that had to be made but as soon as I could, we returned her to the regular routine. It takes three days to create a bad habit and seven days to break it.Special Events During the DayThe author suggests that for the first 6 months, try hard to stay within the schedule, even on the weekends. It's definitely a trade off, but a worthwhile one. If you try to introduce too much change into your baby's schedule before a solid routine is established, your baby will likely be a cranky, wriggly, tantrum-throwing mess. For the first six months, try to plan activities within their sleeping, easting and wake times.Vacations and TravelThis will produce the greatest disruptions to your daily routine. Vacations are really just another example of the baby adjusting to the existing family unit. Travel would be difficult during the BBC weeks, it is definitely feasible, especially after the first six months. You just need to be prepared in advance and make the necessary adjustments. Bring a portable bed (pack'n'play) and you will also need a room where you can do the nighttime routine and put your baby down for the night and naps.So there it is in a nutshell! I found that each time get mastered a step, the next step got easier and by the time I got to Step 4, it seemed like everything just fell into place. Just remember, it is possible, I've done it twice now!The book provides an entire section on extreme circumstances which is also very helpful. Although, I'm not going to list them out, feel free to contact me if you have questions or concerns of your own. Again, here is a link to the book if you want to follow along. Good luck mamas, you can do it!Xo, Shawna