My Experience with Breastfeeding

Baby #2 loves to nurse. Nothing soothes or calms Miss Stevie quite like the boob. I don't remember Brock being so into it, he seemed to care less about the "experience" and more about filling his belly.I breastfed Brock but it wasn't easy. Being my first baby and never doing it before, the process was a bit overwhelming. Brock had a difficult time latching so I had to use a nipple shield. No matter how long I nursed Brock, he never seemed satisfied. In my opinion, that's the hardest part of breastfeeding. How was I sure my baby was getting enough milk? This part had me frustrated with the process. Breastfeeding a newborn is a job, not only do they eat often, they can take a very long time to eat. On a given day I would spend 5-6 hours a day nursing him, and somedays more. For me, it wasn't even a question whether I wanted to breastfeed my child, I knew I wanted to. But as the weeks went on, I wasn't feeling good about the job that I was doing. Brock was constantly fussy and it eventually broke me down. After talking to our pediatrician, we decided to make a change and I began exclusively pumping. Suddenly a huge (and I mean HUGE) weight was lifted from my shoulders when we made the decision which I felt was interesting. Often, women beat themselves up over this topic...why was there such a stigma attached to breastfeeding?Breast is best. There is no denying that a mother’s breastmilk is a better alternative to formula alone. I remember when I was pregnant with Brock, I was constantly getting asked by people if I was going to breastfeed him. Inexperienced me would always answer yes of course.  But the more I thought about it, especially after I had experience with breastfeeding, I don't like that question. I knew that I wanted to breastfeed my baby... but what if I couldn't?  There is so much pressure on women to breastfeed. From the minute you deliver your baby you have lactation specialists at your hospital bedside manhandling your breasts, analyzing your nipple shape and size, trying to get your newborn to latch. Don't get me wrong, I understand why they are doing it, it's just a lot on a new mom. I can understand how some women get turned off by the entire process from the beginning.I breastfed Brock but I technically only "nursed" him for 5 weeks, the rest of the time I exclusively pumped and he was fed from a bottle. I did that for 5 months. I often get asked by other women how long I breastfed for, which is a totally legitimate question to ask someone... so why does it feel uncomfortable answering it? As a woman I have felt not only the social pressure to breastfeed, I have also felt the judgement from others. Too often, too long, in public, covered up, if you consumed alcohol, is your diet healthy/poor, too large, too thin, etc. With all these social "rules”, it’s not surprising that we experience pressure and in turn, project it onto one another. We need to remember that we are all unique and so is everyone’s individual breastfeeding journey.Baby #2 has been much easier to breastfeed, which has made it a more enjoyable experience this time. I'm only 5 weeks in but I can understand why some women love it and even have a hard time giving it up. Stevie latched right away with no issues. She seems to be satisfied when she's finished which leads me to believe that she is getting enough milk. The bond between her and I is powerful and nursing has been a great tool to have in my toolbox this time. How long am I going to do it? Haha, here we go! I don't know. I have a goal in mind and would like to get there, but if I don't, I'm not going to beat myself up about it.Not only am I enjoying the breastfeeding experience with Stevie, I will whip a boob out just about anywhere without even thinking twice. I don't know if it's because I'm older, it's easier on me or the natural confidence that comes with baby #2. Whatever it is, I feel liberated. I wouldn't dare breastfeed in public with Brock, we would have to schedule any outings around his feeding schedule and get home in a hurry before it was time again. Talk about stressful. I wasn't even comfortable feeding him around people in my own home (obviously it depended on the company) but I was extremely modest.Here is some quick advice I wish I could have given my younger self about breastfeeding. Remember that breastfeeding is situational, no two women will have the same experience. It's your journey. Own your decision. It's not if you will feel the social pressure, it's when. So, when you do, just remind yourself it's coming from a good place and you're doing/going to do the best you can do. At the end of the day, just do you.Questions about breastfeeding and/or exclusively pumping? I had a ton and relied heavily on KellyMom with both babies. I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject, please feel free to comment below or email me at info@peacelovestyle.comXO,Shawna